I usually have three or more of these moments (creative funks) yearly, where I just step away from everything and crawl into my shell; where I am usually not in the mood for anything, not even the things I love. At first I felt it was because I wanted to get serious for my exams till I realized it wasn’t seriousness; it was more like numbness, nothingness… My own distractions weren’t even distracting me anymore.
This is exactly what a creative funk feels like. The only problem is, I am already living in my shell, hence there is no deeper place to crawl into. I was mentally/ physically fatigued (I think the physical part is me about to have malaria though).
I decided to take yesterday to find out why exactly I was having a funk, although I could not pin-point the exact thing it was however; the soul searching helped me reevaluate my perspectives.
I acknowledged the difference between being active on social media ,being sociable, and being flat out anti-social, the difference between adding value and time wasting, the difference between symbiotic relationships and parasitic relationships (not that I didn’t listen in biology class, however in this context, the concept of ‘value added’ is very subjective).
Something struck me about lifestyle; it is the way you live (like literally), you don’t need validation for living your life, you also don’t need negative or positive reinforcement to live the way you ought to, or do the things you must.
Let’s try some practical examples, maybe we would find something we have been going about wrong:
You would not brush your teeth properly because you plan to whisper to a pretty lady/gentle man that day, you would brush your teeth properly because it is the right thing to do, if coincidentally you have to whisper that day, you know you are good to go. (The next thing I was going to say was ‘read to understand and not to pass’, If would feel guilty if I used that example lol). The point is, we shouldn’t live our lives because we want to be validated nor expect a form of incentive for that which we would do normally.
I have an obscene way of finding a silver lining in the cloudiest of skies… For instance (I am trying my best to prevent it but), If i fell ill now, I would probably lose weight and those two outfits I need to increase by an inch would fit perfectly… I don’t know if that is the same as praying for the best but expecting the worst but anyways, we should not see the worst of people/ situations… Get the drift? So that’s how I’m choosing to step out of this creative funk, by keeping in mind that it is part of who I am and I am deciding not to live my life based on society’s prescription of right and wrong, I am sticking to setting personal goals and celebrating tiny victories.
My shoes are Reto Francesco (Nigerian Made), it’s one year old this month yet it is still one of my faves, each time I wear it, it feels like the first time, this is a guarantee that there are good Nigerian stuff out there so lets all subscribe to ‘buy Nigeria…”
Time Piece; Police, jean; I can’t remember the label, shirt; me, Smilesfotografi shot it… This is one of the looks from a look book I am putting together, please stick around for more.
Thank You for your reads/support so far, God bless you.